barbara cummings

Are You Running on Empty?

Don’t you hate it when you realize that your cell phone is running on a low battery? You hear that little beep-beep, warning you that you are in the “red zone”. You’re not sure when the power will be completely out and you say to the person you have called, “My battery is almost dead and I might lose you”. Your stress level mounts, however you start making a plan to solve the problem.


You go home and plug in your charger, or if you have a charger with you, find an outlet and plug it in. Or, you might look around for someone or someplace with a charger or charging station. Whatever it takes to juice your phone back up and be ready to rock and roll again, you’re on it.


What about when YOU are running on empty? You’re feeling tired and depleted. It feels like there’s a little beep-beep inside you telling you you’re running out of steam. You get a phone call and you wonder if you can even pick up the phone and give one more person your attention or will your battery run out. Do you have a plan? Do you know what to do or do you feel your stress level mount and feel helpless?


Good news – the solution is like the fix for your phone. You plug in! Here are a few suggestions for accessing your charger.


Go somewhere quiet – if you’re in your car, pull over on a side street or rest area. Somewhere you can safely park and sit for a moment. Or, if you are at work, close your door, go somewhere else inside or outside, whatever it takes to grab a little quiet. Once you’re there, just start watching your breathing. Simply observe the in and out of your breath and plug into your inner calming system. What’s amazing about this is that the solution to your being depleted is so simple even in the face of overwhelm!


Call a friend. Not your friend that always grumbles and whines and demands a lot of your attention, but the one that leaves you feeling better. The voice of reason in a crowd of complainers is your go-to girlfriend. Even better, if you can arrange it, call a group of ladies and create an impromptu coffee break, lunch date, or even “cosmos and compliments”.  I created this when I realized my gal pals and I sometimes needed to get together and lift each other up. We treat ourselves to a cosmopolitan or some other favorite beverage and we can only say nice things about each other. In fact, we go out of our way to highlight each other’s magnificence.


Find something to laugh about. I highly recommend investing in a few books by humorists that you find really funny. Or, for example, a compilation of New Yorker Magazine cartoons. Start a folder with funny quotes or observations that you can pull out and get a chuckle from when you need it.


There’s three ways to re-fill your tank, top off your mojo, and plug in and get more juicy and this is only the tip of the iceberg. Have fun finding other ways you can refresh and replenish.

Stop Worrying About Aging…

“Jewelry takes people’s minds off your wrinkles.”
-Sonja Henie

Do you have some exquisite pieces of body adornment and more importantly, do you wear them? Too often we have a beautiful necklace or pair of earrings that we are “saving for a special occasion”. I’m here to tell you that moment has arrived. Be-jewel yourself, stop worrying about your age spots, now is special.

Why Do You Believe What You Believe?

“I realized I actually had a choice in what I could believe.”

-Kathryn Stockett

Are you caught up in what the national news wants you to think and believe or have you formed your own thoughts and opinions? I once had a gym teacher advise me to not believe most of everything I heard and only half of what I read. It opened up my world to so many more possibilities and turned it into a much brighter, positive place.

What Lights Your Fuse?

“We anoint their fuses with a tiny amount of fire, and they come alive, playing out  their life span in a matter or seconds. In  those few seconds a crack in the universe is opened, giving us a glimpse of the energy locked within all matter.”

-Bob Weaver

What do you need to light your fuse? – Not in an angry, get mad kind of way, but what is locked up inside of you that you need to let loose and share, in all its magnificence, to the world? Let it shine,  let it shine, let it shine!

Are You Smiling?

“If she’s smiling, I know all is right in the world. Her face is the sun in my life.”
Bridget McManus/comedienne

Did you know you could have that effect on others? Ms. McManus made that comment
about someone specific in her life however, we all light up when we see a smiling face. It’s
hard not to and we are drawn to smiles like bears to honey. If we see a frown, we’re not
sure we want to know why and we often avoid someone who looks upset. No matter what’s
going on with us, it sometimes feels like we just can’t take in their misery or troubles. Even
though it might make us feel guilty, we’ll avoid interaction at all cost.

On the other hand, when we see a smile, we want to know more. We’re curious, interested, hopeful, full of anticipation. There’s no bad news lurking behind a smile.

So, when you feel good, share it!

Let’s Talk Underwear

“Underwear is simply another accessory – both practical and decorative.”
-Barbara L Cummings

What’s in your underwear drawer? Are there panties in there that you would really be
embarrassed about if you were in an accident? Does the idea of a matching bra and
underpants set leave you puzzled? Are you saving the one lacey little piece of something for
some “special” moment with a particular person (perhaps yet to be named)??

I say getting up every morning counts as a “special” moment and YOU are a particularly fine

Here is your assignment:

  • Go through your underwear drawer and get rid of anything that you wouldn’t
    want anyone else to see
  • Go shopping – it doesn’t have to be a high-end lingerie boutique (although it is
    fun to look around in there!). TJ Maxx has lovely undies at very reasonable
  • Buy at least one item that you consider outrageous.
  • Every morning, for a week, put your new frillies, lacies, whatever lights you up,
    on under your clothes and go out into the world knowing that you are especially
    yummy and luscious underneath and no one else knows! (If you are married or
    in a relationship, dress for yourself in the morning. I’d share it in the evening
    with that special guy.)

Have fun and let me know how it goes – I’d love to hear from you!

Go Get Your Flirt On

“Flirting is the gentle art of making someone feel pleased with themselves.”
-Helen Rowland

Do you flirt?

I highly recommend it – as the quote says, it really makes people feel happy and good.

If you were to flirt, would you limit it just to men/the opposite sex/someone you might be
interested in?

You can flirt with anyone!

Try it on older men, younger men, babies, children, puppy dogs, the cashier at the grocery
store or dry cleaners, your mechanic, the waiter … the list is endless!

By flirting, you send the message, “Life is good, I feel good, and I want you to feel good, too!”
And, the best part is, even if you don’t feel quite as wonderful as you like to begin with, if
you start flirting, you will definitely feel better … and so will everyone that receives your

Go get your flirt on!

Are You Acting Like a Victim?

I recently heard that when we complain about anything, we immediately assume the role of
victim. Instead, our choices are to either leave, implement change, or accept. For example,
let’s look at something as ever-present as the weather. Imagine it’s raining and you had
hoped for a sunny day because you wanted to do something outside. Here are your choices:

  • Change your location to somewhere it’s not raining – this might mean a drive of a
    couple of hours. Weather patterns can be pretty unusual and it might not be too far
    away that the sun is shining.
  • Put on your raincoat, galoshes, and get an umbrella and head out into the rain.
    Unless it’s thundering and lightning, it might be fun strolling in the rain
    and splashing in puddles
  • Realize that your trip to the beach or your picnic in the meadow isn’t going to
    happen today. It might be a better day to see the exhibit at the museum you’ve been
    reading about.

Whatever it takes, avoid being a victim. That’s just no fun.


“Doing is a quantum leap from imagining.” Barbara Sher

I received this quote earlier this week in an e-mail and I just loved it.
As women of a certain age we start to wonder what our lives can look
like. For some of us, it might be the first time in a long time that
we have this luxury. For many years we might have simply fallen into
our roles as daughter, wife, mother, or sister. There was often
someone else defining our existence and often that was just fine — but
not always. Now, especially if we have had children and they are on
their own or we were married and that isn’t part of our life anymore
through death or divorce or we have been “orphaned” as our parents
have passed on, now we have a new opportunity to imagine what our
lives can hold.

Bust a Gut!

“Bust a gut.  A little laughter, daily, raises
the number of natural killer cells and
interferon.” – JJ Virgin, Nutritionist

Have you ever not felt good after laughing at
something or with someone? It really does have
beneficial effects that have even been
scientifically proven.  So, what’s stopping you
from laughing today? What can you do about your
laughter deficiency (if you have one)? Contact me
if you’d like a couple of ideas …

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